and when she speaks
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
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random thought of e day-suddenly remembered a song i heard on e way to sch this evening. e singer sounded nice so i thot "hey probably a new nice song" but then i heard e lyrics... " oh i wish i was a prawn cracker with a flower in my hair..." PRAWN CRACKER?!!! den i started to imagine this red plastic brand of prawn crackers, take one out den stick a flower in it. and realized tt e picture doesnt fit (understatement of the year). so i thought, aiya probably another stupid song den (like those mutton songs). but it continued into a proper song! so i squint my eyes (i dunno why for) and listened carefully..."oh i wish i was a punk rocker with a flower in my hair..."hahaha. i think (i also nt sure maybe its neither :/) tt was it la. punk rocker, not prawn cracker. but its still funny isnt it? ahahahha :x n e way e person sang it really sounded like prawn cracker. dn believe? try singing it and focus on e 'k' and 'r'. sing the 2 words like real fast. teehee.. this is really stupid. gotta wake up at bout 6 tml, its 232am now! do a bit more hw n i can rest! byeee-and that concludes the random thought of the day-
her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
6:36 PM;;
Monday, May 29, 2006
omg. i am soo tired and busy. had dance 5 days this wk-mon wed thur sat sun. den tml (which is monday) hav dance again. and i'm supposed to implement e 1st art and craft lesson of my life tml. n i'm still preparing the materials-i just found out how hard it is to crush construction papers into mani lil bals fer collage. so i had this msn nick--> shir. *arrrrrrrrrrrr get me an aspirini was away from e comp crushin those lil balls and i came back den realized brian dropped me a stupid msg.=D says:
u cant eat aspirin. aspirin is acidic to asian stomachs. can cause gastric. take paracetamol!
=D says:
=Xparacetamol somemore. gosh. ok my hands hurt enough as it is alr. shall go back to crush more lil balls :*( i hope e kids like my lesson tml *prays*
her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
4:32 PM;;
Friday, May 26, 2006
hehs. busy, busy, busy! i'm soooo busy recently. all my sch work n dance crammed together. no time fer gg out wif frens to chill n all. i no longer hav a social life. haha :/really dn understand what i'm feeling nowadays... but i think i know what to focus on in my life alr? like at least i am sure what i want to focuz on n improve on. just dn get sidetracked loh.. yeps. and i know tt no matter how horrible i'm feeling, i'm never alone. i have my pillarS of support. i have a wonderful family who will ALWAYS be there fer me. i have my buddies -Bee, Ching and e others. i have my TheClique6. hahaha i just thot of tt. TheClick5. we are TheClique6!!! ok not funny. TheClique6 minues me so is 5 la. my ech clique lohhhh weiqi, sarah, nique, ange, yiling. den of cuz i have Peiyi, seowting, jen, mingli, erena, angel... and ppl i will never forget but always having no time to meet up with, dearest Van n Ida. and also e ppl hu drop me a sms every once in awhile to let me know i am not forgotten.. all u guys are not forgotten too! oh yes!! n i have my lil kiddos in e childcare centre.. be it my old centre or e current one. i knoe u kids cant read my blog (duh) but anyway, all u of make my life so much better! yeps, there are so mani other ppl whom i know will be there fer me la so i sldnt brood so much. right?i realized tt u cant make Everyone like u, or maybe simply agree with u. but u know what? u dont need to. there are bound to be ppl who are unhappy with e things u do, u cant make e whole world like u. but it doesnt really matter does it?allrighty, i shall go back to my busy life. *scoots off to do my 3 lesson plans due erm, tml?*
her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
1:28 PM;;
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
dear god, please let irritating ppl disappear from my life when i snap my fingers.
*snaps*
...i dn need all these in my life. please.
-or make like e wind and blow away?somebody. ask me out for a day of fun w absolutely no worries. assure me tt, and i'll go with u. whoever u are. (ok maybe nt gees)
her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
3:41 PM;;
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
i just typed an entry n i deleted 'em all accidentally. grr nvm.i was saying, each time i tell myself not to bother about that issue and i am so positive i can do it. but when i get there, i wld start thinking all over again till i get home. den i wld shower n eat n aft tt i wld feel like "aiya heck it la, its nothing." then i'm back at square one! sheesh.it now 116am n i have just showered n eaten. my hair is still dripping wet. how to sleep? i dont want to risk having a headache right aft my fever no. n i have to wake up at 6am tml. gosh. hope i survive tml. chants: "iwontfallasleepduringlectureiwontfallasleepduringlecture...." yes i know there's such a thing called a hair dryer but i dont like using it can? lols. n it's in my mom'd room n it just so happens tt she is sleeping at e moment. how can i, fer e sake of drying my hair, risk waking up my mom?! tsk, always e filial daughter. :X so, HAIR! dry, please? *smiles*
her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
4:20 PM;;
i thought i can hold it all in.
i thought i can pretend as if nothing's wrong.
i thought you guys understood.
i thought i have found a place wher i belong.
i thought, i thought.
and then i realized again tt things arent always what i thought they are.
another day with a lot of mixed up emotions running thru me. all those qns with nobody whom i can turn to fer answers. i dont want to admit tt i have thought wrong. i dont want to feel like how i'm feeling now. it feels horrible. i just want to go there, do wad i'm supposed to do and just focus on it (since i'm nt gd at it too anyway) . but i cant. i just have to look up and i will see things tt i do nt really wish to see. and each time i c it, or just think about it, i feel like crying.
i dont know how to talk to those ppl anymore. i'm drifting further away n i dn see them or even myself tryin to salvage e situation. let nature take its own course? hah. sld i even be e 1 to question what have gone wrong or are they supposed to talk to me? or maybe theres actually nuttin much to really talk about. maybe i'm paranoid. maybe i think too much. maybe i dunno i cant think of e word. or maybe i'm just concerned? anyhow. if i needed to do some things so tt things wld be e same/ tt i wldnt be forgotten, is such a friendship still worth it? sometimes i wonder. (make tt all the time) and i thought u understood too. but...
at times i feel like there is really nobody i can talk to (about this issue i mean). and i dont want to admit tt. i DONT WANT TO. but i have to.
dont know what i sld do.
i'm losing myself. i dont want to think bout all these; just do wad i'm supposed to la y think so much? but i cant help it. and it REALLY does feel like e ultimate shit. stuck in this shithole. bottomless shithole?
/sigh. all my happy entries are missing. i have so mani happy things i wan to blog about but they just kept gettin pushed back cuz all these negative stuffs are filling up my days, my life, me.
*n i'm still sick. hais.
-----------like-having-someone-slam-a-door-in-ur-face-----------
her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
2:48 PM;;
Friday, May 12, 2006
what an uneventful day.. was supposedly gg to sch juz fer a few hrs and fer 2 modules i like. den aft tt go shoppin wif Jen den maybe steamboat.. but ended up we decided to skip steamboat juz go walk. nvm. den i woke up with a terribly painful sorethroat. like, wtf?! wanted to heck care it juz go sch since got quiz sumore n i like e day's plans. but mom kept askin me to skip it so she can bring mi to e doc. thought fer like dam long la den ok loh dn go. (decided tt onli aft i bathed and changed ARG) den lecturer ask mi to call her, jen say postpone e outing. n i got no plans fer e day alr. so i slept my whole thursday away!!!
:*(
how sad. still cant get over i missed Academic Writing and Self Awarness juz cuz i hav a bad sore throat. ARGH. what a day. *grumbles*SIGHS.and now i cant eat junk food fer awhile again;its pure torture-i am DAM gd at grumbling.
her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
11:16 AM;;
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
i decided to blog and sumhow i got here n i have no idea what to blog about. yippee.
her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
4:29 PM;;
Friday, May 05, 2006
and finally, i cldnt take it anymore.
but sumhow i think i'll get better. i
will be stronger.
-and i think e sheep has not eaten e flower, for there is still e shield and i cld provide the muzzle.
her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
4:42 PM;;
Monday, May 01, 2006
trying to find out answers... from questions that cant be answered.
"perhaps the sheep has eaten the flower after all."
her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
7:37 PM;;
