i feel so not loved here in my blog :*( y is nobody tagging recentli? my counter says ppl do visit here whats but y no tagging :*(

i juz cut myself *accidentally la duh* n it hurts *double duh*

today my comp is better than ydae! e web pgs can load alr! but msn n hotmail n mel... ferget it still. yup. tml is a holiday! no field prac = no sch = project. sheesh. wad a downer u shir. wadeva.


*i noe tt there're a lot of errors in my previous entry but yea i did it in lecture la so.... ya. i noticed i said many "ya"s so.. yea. er dots. ok bb' noooo ok yea i sound a bit desperate in ma blog. sheesh. bb'

her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
2:40 PM;;

gosh.. spent e whole night ydae just trying to get into blogger. wanted to blog bout more happi stuffs since i realized tt recentli al my entries are quite down. onli to find out tt my comp's gettin worse. besides failure to get into msn, hotmail n mel, i cant even load any web pgs now. its super laggy. stupid virus. e start of it all.

in case u're wonderin, i'm using nesh's lappy in lecture. :*( ^hence e color-less

nonetheless, i'll try n be happy :*)



the 4 girlies :*)

e happy us took it at e hut thing when it rained heavily n we were hiding from e rain.

went sentosa ydae with a few mira peeps n weixuan. actually just Grace, Liyi, Weixuan, me, Gerard, Lester, Chenloon n jonathan(from dragonboat). i noe, quite sad right so few but still, i am quite glad alr. we thought bout it n was like yea, i think we're e onli camp grp tt still go out together loh :*p was quite fun actually. a lot of lameness, vball n erm, rain. yup.. to elaborate further since i'm editin this entry at home right now, we even played Concentration, which was n is still our Mira Tradition. *ooh sounds so sacred right. lol. rubbish* e loser (or sabo-ed one) was supposed to stand out in e darn cold rain but we decided not to do tt i think.. yup, so a lot of vball with this other grp of ppl hu were rather gd.. n den e lameness; u cant help it, it'll always be dere. went to harbourfront mall to chill fer awhile also n took 188 back wif lester. :*)

n on sat i slacked with Bee at cck.. found a new place to slack which is actually at e overhead bridge outside of lot 1. i think its e nicest overhead bridge i have seen thus far. all was great i tell nu, e sceanry, e wind, e lighting n all..... n this FLYING COCKOACH flew onto MY NECK!!!!!!! ME!!!!!!!! hus more afraid of cockroaches than e average person!!!! i totally FREAKED OUT. thot it was a moth or sth till to e light. but saw it scurryin away when i jumped up. *yah we were sittin at e overhead bridge. was so scared, disgusted n freaked out can. Anyhow, tt just spoiled a gd hangout place fer us. yup..

ok think back to lecture!


*i miss msn so much. n my computer on e whole.

her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
12:34 AM;;

wanted to simply juz blog bout today.. but saw a bit of this chinese serial my parents watchin.. this guy died so yea, thought bout something i always wanted to talk bout. yea, sad stuff cuz i think deep thoughts.....

it might seem very cliche but aint it really the case that time seems to fly by so quickly? like juz in a turn of the head or perhaps the snap of ur fingers? whenever i think bout this i get really sad :*( ppl look upon the future with happy thoughts but more often than not, there is still 1 sad thought lying in the back of my mind.

ppl live, ppl die. At every moment a child is born, somebody else dies in another place. *i know, morbid right.* so i think, i wld really want for time to stop. i dont want to grow up n be this lady with my own family (meaning my own children n spouse) n other significant ppl have left me. i dont want that. i want to always be this little girl who can just look up to the ppl ard me to seek comfort whenever i need it. i want to be this little girl with no cares of the world, no worries at all. n that all i have to worry about each day is about gettin mummy n daddy's attention or about toys. nono scratch that. i want to stop when i'm in Secondary sch. 'cause i am able to think alr, thou not more important stuffs. more like i am able to understand the things that are goin on ard me, yet i want to stay there.

it often appalls me that ppl wld want to be somebody else when they c that ppl have beter things than them. Not Me. mark my words, NOT ME. i am always happy about who i am, where i'm at or simply, just happy and glad with my life. i was really happy to be in my secondary sch thou some were reluctant to be there in the first place, i wasnt. i feel n know for a fact that i am v.blessed to be in my this life, to be erm, in my own shoes? haha. ok nvm. yup, as i was sayin b4 i rudely interrupted myself :*l, i am happy to be me. thou i am not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, thou i have my flaws :*) *actually quite a lot of flaws ok nvm*

oh yea i digressed :x i really wish time wld stop at times. 'cause i hate changes. hate it loads. truckloads. when i think about changing esp in future *like duh of cuz we will change in future*, i get upset.

i think that's probably y i am always happy with where i'm at. i have always told myself to cherish the ppl and things ard me but at times, ppl do make mistakes. when i realize tt i have said or done sth to hurt somebody i love, i wld regret it a lot n try my best to make up for it. *n maybe tts also y i always end up being the 1 apologising, be it my fault or not* i wldnt want to spend my time stayin at loggerheads with a person, i want everybody to be happy together *cheesy smile* i cant stan the aftermath of a quarrel, the awkwardness after one, the stillness u can feel, as if u can cut the tension with a knife. *sharp knife, not blunt one. eh blunt? James blunt. u're beautiful~ u're beautiful, its true :x*

yup, lets all treasure the people and things ard us and not regret only later ok? sheesh so cliche. i think there's enuff deep thoughts for today, if u want more, look back on my other entry entitled, insignificant; what's left of us. also somewhat like what i talked about today, thou maybe more sad?


************************************************************

hmm.. i'll juz cut short on today then. went for my field prac as per normal. was at e centre e longest today -from 840 to 1plus thou we just have to be there from 9 to 1230. love my kiddos :*) ate at delifrance again den was supposed to meet Mr Hey-Ho-Lets-Go to chill at J.e library but i was late so he had to go for class alr. was goin in when he was goin out. lol. hate being alone but the lure of novels drew me in. hahz.. saw frens der anyway. n borrowed 3 novels.. 2 from this writer i love...

Lurlene Mcdaniel! Her writing's darn gd! if only i could write like that... journalism... *bubbles formin up image on the top of my head* rubbish. haha.. thou it seems kinda morbid cuz her bks all have ppl dying like u c the titles:The girl death left behind, till death do us part, too young to die, when happily ever after ends or no time to cry, they are really nice cuz they wld make u treasure ur life n things like tt. i think tis' e onli writer tt makes me tear every time i read her bks cuz normally ppl juz cry over tv, not a bk. i have read many of her novels :*) here's one other novel by her i was supposed to return but decided to show it to a fren first cuz its just soooo gd:


the novel: Time capsule :*) *so cute right c e pics when those 2 were young. they're twins btw :*)

talk bout it some other time. ok yea... MAN! lets talk bout J.E library! call mi slow but its e first time i have been to tt teens area! its so darn cool can? e nicest library are fer teens i have even seen! they have those big big round sofa *red in color still* tt u can sit ard n chill with ur frens, beanbags too, small table so u can sit on those beanbags n do ur work, n music! they have cds for borrowin i think so u can listen der n even a stage area which i have no idea wad for, maybe its even to the extend tt u can perform? there's also vendin machines yea n i saw ppl eatin in dere. the couchs, floors n all are highly grafitti-ed too so i think its ok to do tt? oh i saw ppl slpin dere also. haha.. MAN! we're talking a bout a LIBRARY here. sounds more like a hangout for us teens isnt it?! so cool! its quite opposite from most libraries as in typical ones, u cant sit ard, listen to music, much less talk. n e grafitti n food n stage thing.. not sure if e grafitti n food thing u can really do but theres so much of it as if u can do it n even if u cant, i doubt e ppl wld catch. weeeeee! i lurve tt place. so many novels sumore. as compared, what is Lot 1 library? *smacks head*

ok think tis' like a super loooong entry. shall go chat or sth alr :*) tata!' -so much time n effort spent here *tired*-

her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
2:50 PM;;

its 320am now. dont noe wad i'm still doing here either *shrugs

sld be super tired n wantin to slp since i went out like both these 2 days. slacked at coffeebean recentli. caught e maid alr n freaked out Major time. went fer some dinner thing n freak myself further. got home ard 12plus n conferenced till now. supposed to be slpin n den again wonderin y i'm here. sheesh.

bro's playin mahjong with frens n parents slping. probably goin off to read my novel n try to get to slp w/o freakin myself out. think i'll leave e lights on. internet's no fun w/o msn anyhow. btw, happy 1 mth anniversary. to my cough. yups. *cheers

i'm feelin a bit emotionless i think. bet u dint feel it -.-"


psst. think my recent entries sld all be deleted its all like crap-no pt, not funny. BAH!
a lot of much more interesting things i wan to blog bout but never seem to get ard to it. those are more close-to-e-heart stuff so yea maybe it'll go into my other diary. oh wells. Bah?

her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
2:59 PM;;

oh man. i'm trying to get over feeling dumb. EEEE!

out of e 15% for IT Access today, i think i will get bout 1%. yiippe! *heels clipping thing* tis' e worst test i have ever taken in my life can?! n i feel so dumb cuz all along i was trying to open certain files so i cld edit n save into e drive.... only to find out that...... u have to type everything in urself. all e dummy info u have to typed in. !!! n i was trying to find e file! spent so long tryin to find it! wasted so much time. lol. seriously. tsk tsk.

n i cld have like e others fake ownself right-klick change e stuffs but i dint. c how dumb i was? SHEESH. cant get over it.

BAH!!!! i'm dumb, u're dumb, we're alllllll dumb! weeeeeeeee~

her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
2:09 AM;;

n den i'm back at square one.

i think somebody put a whammy on me. i'm cursed or sth. n it hasnt worn off yet.

cuz things juz keep goin wrong with my life recently, making me feel like shit. i dont even noe how i managed to go on w/o resorting back to my penknife shit or no, juz i dont noe how i managed to go on. lookin happy on e outside. u guys noe wad a facade is? well, i hate it.

her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
2:59 PM;;

lurve e backgrd. minus e guy behind mi :*) **anyway, if u dont scroll, he is hidden, yay

i am feeling better.

thou even bloggerbot has error nown i cant adjust e picture. n my project stuffs is out of pt, e picture n e observation is diff, my msn's still down, my hotmail's still down, i am feelin messy bout tml cuz its a monday n every mon is now messy since 1)i have no appropriate pants fer hiphop n 2)my dance shoe is so hard to match n 3)top also i guess n erm 4)e spare time from aft class till hiphop. tml i am free from 2 to 7! wad am i gonna do? probably pool with tis grp of frens den rot with another n rot alone n den meet cai xuan fer 2nd time slot hiphop since she cant make 1st slot. u c, my monday's messy. oh yea, i am still sick, n have ulcers. n i am broke. n its aft 12 n my lecture starts at 8 tml. WEEEE~

trust me, i am still lookin on e bright side. i think. tears have dried on my MeToYou bear n i have broken down enuff e past erm, 2 days. i am back to my cheerful self. i think. thanks fer those who were dere fer me n sorry to those i were horrid to :*)

its ok to talk to me now :*) i'll try not to bite.

her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
2:58 AM;;

i'm going to cry all over again. i cant sign in to msn AT ALL. ydae till today i've tried but to no avail. so i decided to go hotmail to c how maybe change my passwd or sth since when i signed in using another version of msn, it says my passwd is wrong or username dont exist. tunrs out i cant even sign in to hotmail. sigh. wads wrong. argh.

i get a sinking sensation tt its due to a file a fren sent me ydae. i have to come to acknowledge slowly tt my comp's got virus due to tt file since ching's fren is goin thru e same thing i think. might have to back up ALL my stuffs or lose them when i reformat my comp.

doubt u guys wld be chattin wif mi in msn anytime soon. as fer my projects, i am screwed too so i shall crap up sth lame n feel unhappy bout my work fer 1 FIRST time since i am always happy with my results. anyhow, do u tink i am in any gay mood t do my project? i am goin to create a new yahoomail in order to receive or send files to my grp mates.

if u do not feel my pain, try acceptin a file tt says "is this you?" from ur frens. try it.


p.s: those who have Hello! add me first--> shirhurt . tts e only way fer mi to chat thou n i onli have like 2 frens in dere. i cant stan being online n not chatting. sigh. so fer those hu dont have, sign up fer Hello! too lahs :*(

her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
7:30 AM;;

i feel so horrible n fucked up right now. n i'm even crying. damn. y do f-ing things have to happen?! n they all have to come together? when 1 thing seems to go wrong, it all goes wrong.

u may think its lame lah cuz u're nt me but tis is like SHIT. i was happily goin to do my project (tt requires a picture i took of e kids) n was relaxed n all cuz i knew v.sure wad to write bout. n e piture was simply perfect.
i mean, how often do u get e child to pause halfway in his play fer u so tt u can take urpic fer project?! i dissembled my kiddo's lego n asked her to put it back so i can take a picture of it but it was too fast so i told her to sort of pause when her hand's on e lego. n she did n e pic was so gd i was soooo happy bout it tt i told like almost everybody bout it. so happy with e picture can. n so sure wad to write on n all.

n den Crash! e picture is lost somewher. its not sarah'a fault la i mean i borrowed her cam but yea e picture; i juz dont noe wth happened to it. seriousli i don tink its her fault lahs but i cant help feeling so horrid. its like ARGh. DAMN. she told me she's wonderin wads wrong too cuz her other pictures are also missing but are not fer assignment. wads e stupid thing eating up e pictures i hate u i hate u i hate u! n msn y are u making things worse! i am seriously losing it.

n right at e moment, my msn crashed. fer e past hr, i have been tryin to get in but to no avail. b4 which my xplorer too. but theres no prob with my connection cuz Hello is still ok. argh.

do u understand how F-ed up tt is?! no?! it is very. have never been so upset fer god noes how long. m my fucking cough doesnt help it. damn it. y is it when i cry i wld cough like 2 times harder?! screw it. got no way to vent other than here also. damn damn damn!

losing it. ARGH

lost it.

her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
2:54 PM;;

ME! ok not.she's 1 of my nottie kiddos, chrislyn!

e mischievous kind u noe? my fav. type :*) like wan to play with everything n not juz cry? n i lurve kids tt look like hamsters :x e nose? mouth? have de ar, really.. n i tell u, her hair is darn style. n den again i'm lazy to xplain so... yea!


another! ziwei n me! i love her too :*) always tie her hair fer her also :*p no i never show favouritism kae i lurve them all :*)


Huiching! not from my centre lahs :x

haha.. told ya its really random pictures.. took at lot 1 like last mth? or last last? time's passin so quickly i cant rem... when they had e funfair thing ahs..


her n me again! out on Bee's bdae on e maxicab!


erm.. view taken on e cab. its supposed to be artistic ok


oh yea, fergot to mention. e day b4 we were out too.. at esplanade.. n we saw e lowest pt of e moon tt night.

it was super low can i was rather shocked. maybe mr moon tripped *cold laughter* observe e conversation:

ching: WA! i thot tt was e moon u c over there! so bright like moon but actually is e lamp post
me : eh yea hor like leh... OEI! is e moon la! v.low onli. *onli? onli??!! its v.low LEH*

u cant really c from e pic but can imagine lahs.. like so near e shops all; moon's supposed to be higher up.. oh well.. tt was e 23rd of july if anybody noticed it too..


us :*) i like this pic :*) taken in e BIG toy car at marina! (in e arcade sumore :x)


hello! tis' called ma2 mu4. ok u dont geddit. its an inside joke so.. ching! quick laugh! sorry fer e pokes. huiching did it. cham.. i'm beginnin to sound like i have onli 1 fren :*l


no i dont! i have more frens! -.-" there! kian n me. (sounds like "ke lian me" doesn it?? no? does!) <-- bet u're tryin to sae it :x


yea at times i'm still a loner. RIIIGHT. ching said e color was nice so ahha! vain me again :x

cannot put too big lahs myself onli. pai seh lehs. haha


e previous foto was supposed to be e last but i made it queue fer another pic again so i shall post another. guess who!


shucks. supposed to go offline at 12. now its 115. i am like an hr late? n supposed to read e qn fer my IT project due friday, which is, tml! yay! i haven even read e qn. d-i-e. i am so going. nights!

psst, i am still sick too! yay! hooray! (yub from mira cheered fer mi too, thanks ar fren :*l)

her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
2:57 PM;;

holy gucamoley! *i have no idea wher tt came from* i am STILL sick. YAY!! *Claps* *jumps left and right, clipping heels together* it is officially e 2nd wk anniversary of my erm, sickness! maybe can wait fer 1 mtha lr *choy!*

my mom was asking y i seemed more serious today than ydae n i think it might be due to the fact that i ate McDonalds with coke, grilled chicken chop, drank kickapoo, ate cheese prata n drank MILO DINOSAUR today. MIGHT BE. i seriously need to re-think my idea of restricting myself to junk food and tt of saving. i MIGHT BE a LITTLE bit wrong. a little.

ask me y i went to eat cheese prata n drank e Sinful MILO DINOSAUR. ask me. it was Nesh n Sean's idea. i think its all Nesh's fault seriously. haha.. i am still angry at him fer wanting to quit Hiphop. our plan since e audition of Hiphop was to eat prata n drink milo dino together aft class 1 day. since he's intendin to quit, him n sean waited fer mi (without my consent mind u :*p) till e end of Hiphop to eat with me. n den have e audacity to say they have waited a long time fer me. what nerve! SHEESH! Youngsters NowSaday **I am not horrible in English-the NowSaday is an inside joke with my buddies tt i cant get over. haha**

Anyhow, today was my 2nd Hiphop class. i am still sick n my toe still hurts but yea, i cant keep skipping *not THAT skipping with a skipping rope. ok nt funny* right? thou i have e mc still..... yea. last week was quite easy i sld sae n fun too. Butt. tis' wk was tougher :x i was quite lost fer e legs part Eeee *pulls hair from scalp* n e warm-ups was yea, tough. i dint get e idea last wk n finally i understood. Lol. or maybe its juz cause i haven been wrking out recently *(recently? more like e last half yr. ok y am i debatin with myself?!)*

yea other than tt, i am plain busy with PROJECTS. i have 1 Dramatisation project due Wed (its nt eactly due, we have to act out with props n all n we are SO not done) n 1 IT project due Fridae (Which, i haven even read e qn paper) n another Child development cognitive project due Monday (which we haven started too) YAY! lets do e heel-clipping thing together again kae?
*jumps left and right, clipping heels together* WonderFool!

if u dont call me shirley-e-one-who-looks-on-e-brightside, u dont call nobody mr-bright-side. *i have absolutely no idea wher tt came from either* -shrugs- e overwhelming work must be gettin' to me alr. or maybe e heat.

i wld be goin to my centre tml! meetin my cutesy-sweetie-cuppie-cakie-pieys? tml :*) n den, rushing down to SIMEI to do my CS project. Wed's project seem diff as compared to others. its more interesting too, i guess. its actually lang.arts, which is what i like. we're more like erm, gan jiong bout it cuz we have to act it out in front of others n all.. unlike other projects its juz handing in a piece of work u do behind a computer...... i hope all goes well. cheer fer me kae! :*)

yadda yadda yadda... hu wants to hear bout my dreary life right... i want to leh! i like to hear bout what i myself is goin to do! ma blog likes to noe too! come to think of it, my keyboard n screen too. so i decided to type it all in. so everybody (or everything) 's happy :*)

i am still sick :*( care fer me? :*p eewl! i sound like some ferbie commercial. 4get it. ciaooo'



*i noe there's a lack of pictures in my blog so i shall post up a few random pictures? my next entry kae :*)*

-lose ctrl

her
THOUGHTS
EVOKED
2:57 PM;;