dont know why. i just felt like blogging these 2 days.
so still darn pissed n :*( over tt sth. *hor ching?* diaos.. yea. think too much.
suddenli this thought ran thru my mind. haven u wondered how insignificant 1 can be in this world? haven u realized n wondered on any occasion, --u were having a really horrid time like perhaps losing of a dear 1 (be it death or simply losin), or juz sth really really upsetting but e rest of e world seems unaffected by it? it's like u feel "how can everyone still live on life as per normal like nothing's ever happened when in fact sth did?" but the truth is, it can.
even if it's sth really upsetting, ppl tend to think lesser n lesser of it n it all fades away (how cld this happen to me? i've made my mistake.. got nowher to run, e night goes on as i'm fading away.... <-- my blog video lahs) as time goes by. den what about e thing tt's fading away? is it of no worth anymore? just take memories fer example. do ppl juz let it all fade away? ppl say they will remember n never forget, ppl sae certain things are fer life, ppl say, ppl say. but things like tt do happen.
which leads me to sth i've always thought about. if 1 day when i go, which will happen. sigh. i hate changes, hate moving on. y wont time just stop? sheesh. MORBID. as i was saying, if 1 day when i go, wld ppl remember me always? ok wrong tts not what i always think bout.
it's when e whole of me leaves. dont geddit? i mean when my whole family *choy* n everything and everybody who's linked to me. maybe everybody n things (e hse n stuff) of my generation. when it's all gone, what's left of it tt wld let ppl remember us? or will we all be gone just *snap of fingers* like that?
who would ever know we once existed? once did these things, once felt this way, once breathed n moved like e way they wld be in future? when it's all gone, who wld be dere to sae "oh hey i remember _____ once did tt!" nobody? really?
but lives will still go on... e next generation will take our place n perhaps, my great great great great grand daughter wld be thinking what i'm thinking right now. but i guess we'll never find out e answer.
as i've mentioned, insignificant. e rest of e world will move on like nothing's ever happened.
that makes me sad. so sad :*(
after finishin e blog entry n coming back, i think it totally suits to place a poem right smack here, donja?
*whoopee dee, whoopee doo, i roamed, i roamed n i cldnt find a suitable poem. kinda rhyme eh?*
so i had to er whats tt called, subsitute? nono.. u noe when u cant use thing A, u hafta ___ by using thing B to takeover? nvm. u get e idea. now i juz make do with my er whats tt called again. argh. like when u dont prepare but ppl juz call u out to make a speech, u do on ____? like in e moment u juz do whatever w/o preparing? i think its a M word. eee! i'm losing all my vocab.
nvm. i juz mean i type out wadeva i can think of n call it a poem.
Insignificant; What's left of us
At times i do wonder
how insignificant one can be.
how much one can affect others
-who are not even related to them.
When i go, when we all go
what's left of us
to remind others
we once existed?
what's left of us
to even let people Know
we once existed?
'cuz the world will still move on;
lives, will still go on.
others will replace what we've once been
like we have never been.
When you grief, somebody's celebrating a wedding.
when you cry, somebody's smiling over tv.
when you're gone, somebody's strolling in a mall.
are we, Insignificant?
-argh argh argh argh argh! i edit so many times but yet when i publish my entry, e entry does not come out e way it is supposed to! my poem sld have centre alignment but its on e left n all my stanzas are lumped together! so unpoemlike! eeks! *gasps n breathes slowly*-
oh yes, i shall call tt a poem. my poem. dont u make fun of it!
***i have another totally morbid thought. *since i'm so far gone e morbid lane, might as well go all e way* when we go, will we just be gone like tt? *no snapping of fingers this time* like when we close our eyes, when we stop breathing, will we juz be gone? with no more thoughts? or will we be ard to gloom over our own leaving n know what's going on fer awhile b4 we reincarnate? (i think we do reincarnate right? i shallnt even think bout tt cuz i wld go on bout a new life n fergettin we once had another all tt jazz) Ching thought about tt b4 too.. maybe we all did at some point in time when u think of sad things. i just think a bit deeper. yea, i'm a thinker.
oh well.. i've put in soo much of my thinkings n feelings into this entry here. it feels so personal right now. wonderin if i sld publish it or juz print it out n keep in my personal diary box. hmm.. i shall do both.
on a side note, i'm not saying all these cause i've recently experienced sth really upsetting or what. really, i dint. e most upsettin was jus 1 thing n my lost of ezylink? lol. i just suddenli thot bout it (rem i said "suddenli this thought ran thru my mind"?) so i let it out here. dint expect this entry to have so much thoughts n feelings too.
n in real life i'm not morbid lah kae. dint xpect to personify me as morbid in e virtual world too but i guess i did. haha.. what e heck. think ydae's unhappiness haven rubbed off yet. but it will really soon kae :*) i'm a happy-go-lucky person normally. er so i think? n den again maybe not. ok nvm.
