i am so fucking upset n irritated.
whatever i do will never please my brother. i was so freaking right about my hunch tt sumhow sumtin was wrong. i checked with e freaking auntie in e freaking shop n but all she had fer e quilt cover set w/o e mattress thingy inside wuz all cartoons. doreamon n such. n its lyke 69 n above. what he told mi wuz lyke 50. u cant xpect mi to ged e cartoon pattern fer 70bucks right?! so i went to e other shop. asked eve dey had e whole set. even asked bee fer e chinese translation fer quilt. so i asked e auntie eve dey had e quilt cover n all. n she said fer e queen size derez onli e 4 left. n i saw e blue design my Brother was talking about. even called him for confirmation. aft gettin e final nod, literally, i bought e set. n even got it fer a dollar n ninety cheaper. bee was telling mi "wa later he sae u grow up liao can get things urself n all" RIGHT. i wish. or wished.
turns out tt
idiotic me got e wrong thing after all. right, so what if it was a steal? or what if i have never bought q quilt cover set b4 so i now nuttin? so what if i brought it home all by myself? so what if i went to e exact place n asked everything?
i dont deserve any credit at all of cause. (if he gave me any, i wldnt feel so ^%$$&^ n quarrelled till e end as i wld feel freaking guilty n apologise as he cld understand my predicament) he said he made it
idiot proof n wasted a lot of efforts n i still got it wrong. n i dint mutter any apologies. so what if i appear to be guilty? (or izzit u think tt my acting skills r tt great?) or said things like "oh yea hor i never thot of tt. hai i just knew i bought e wrong thing. my gut instinct was right." no all that doesnt matter. because ultimately he is e 100% right one in e quarrel just because it all comes down to this -i dint apologise. n that
i am worse than an idiot. as quoted "even a 3-yr-old wld possibly ged it right" so i am even worse than tt. screw e guy hu thot i wuz 21 cause
my mentality has not surpassed a 3-yr-old.
i bet u wld never understand just how great it felt for ur brother to tell u that. its so great i'm overwhelmed with
water spilling all out my eyes. mind u, dey r definitely
tears of happiness.
so What cld i have done? not buy n end up gettin into e same quarrel because i had to buy todae? or buy e cartoon one tt costed 69bucks? i bet fishes, doraemon n snow white wld look great on my bed. or go to e other shop n buy e single sized set instead of e queen one? it wld all result e same way. n what do u want me to do now? it doesnt matter at all tt
my pride has been hurt too of cuz. in my fit of anger n da midst of e argument, i
Should have said things like "oh... i'm sorry then" n look glum n apologetic n vow to make amends from now on. that cld have saved everything isnt it?
whatever i do has never pleased u. u're always e smart ass, morally upright n all whereas
i wld always be e worse-than-idiot idiot with e mentality of a 3-yr-old or worse. so
blame me if i'm dumb or perhaps as what u said to mom, "y did u have to give birth to sum1 like that?" i'm not exactly sure of e exact phrase but its sumwhat along tt line. or wadever. because ultimately i wld still be wrong no matter what u say next.
so
blame me, i'm like that.
d-u-m-b. or is it that u have done that too as well? nvm, it wld happen again. or why not dont judge me like i'm an express kid(as quoted) or dont even put any hope in me at all? i dont think i want to try my best to please u again cause i never will be able to. better?
Thanks fer being so aware of my feelings brother.
n now i hafta step back n let u use e comp because u want to. again. n i wld wait till u're done in e middle of e nite n use when every1's asleep.. den ged scolding from u n mom n dad fer using comp late in e nite.
aint i fortunate?
